California Governor, Gavin “Gav” Newsom, was reported to be feeling “despondent,” “dismayed” and “betrayed” after an anonymous person revealed that Gav’s son was actively identifying as MAGA at his high-priced private school. Gav’s son, who goes by Emma at home, is in 10th grade at the exclusive and highly priced Elite Academy School for Elites that are Elite, founded by then California Willie Brown’s mistress Kamala Harris in 1995, as way to launder money. A highly-placed source that wishes to remain anonymous, reported that Gav and his wife, Jennifer Seibel, received a letter via USPS reporting the situation yesterday. The unsigned letter used induvial words and letters cut out from different magazines to compose the correspondence and used paper with a Gender Bender Therapists NGO letterhead.
According to a source familiar with the situation, the Newsom’s specifically choose the Elite Academy School for Elites that are Elite, so Emma could be free to explore his sexuality and gender identity and NOT “become a threat to our democracy.”
Anonymous sources report that the anonymous tattletale preferred to remain anonymous due to zhe/xer/durs position in the highly classified gender therapy industry. “…I have observed Emma numerous times with a red Make America Great Again hat and the other day a copy of Trump’s Agenda 47 fell out of his backpack. Emma is reticent when we discuss the mandated ‘Which of the 54 Genders Are You?’ program in the state mandated therapy sessions. These behaviors, like everything else I disagree with, are that of Nazis. …thought you should know so we can begin immediate intervention”
According to sources, Gavin nearly fired the Au Pair for allowing the MAGA transition. However, after intense interrogation, the Au Pair convinced Gav that Emma would leave home in the morning looking like a proper progressive liberal, in a sensible Hillary Clinton pantsuit and garish make up. Someone at school, perhaps a friend or even a teacher, would supply Emma with jeans, a Kid Rock t-shirt, MAGA hats, and videos of Trump rallies and speeches. Furthermore, there may be more than one student involved and they may even be reviewing declassified government documents!
At first, sources report, Gav and Jennifer were despondent:
“Their jaws just went slack as they stared at each other in shock, unable to speak or even think. But then they were more dismayed at the magnitude of the betrayal they felt. They asked each other ‘how could this happen?’ and ‘how could we not have known?’ as if they were accusing each other of being a closet MAGA.”
Dismay soon turned to anger and threats of a lawsuit against the Academy filled the air. Gav and Jennifer proclaimed, without evidence, that Emma was “groomed into being a lover of freedom and the Constitutional principles of America.”
“I can’t believe they turned my son into a threat to our democracy! This is Trump’s fault!” Jennifer wailed to Gav, both in tears.
Gav, who had changed into a pair of Jennifer’s high heeled shoes as he is prone to do in times of stress, stood and chanted “I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!” while stomping on the floor.
UPDATE:
It has been revealed, by impeccable anonymous sources, that it was indeed a teacher at the Elite Academy School for Elites that are Elite that supplied Emma Newsom with critical thinking skills, discernment, research skills, and MAGA gear. Actions which, according to extreme left activists, effectively transitioned Emma into a critical thinking, compassionate, God-loving, and well sourced MAGA conservative. The teacher, Mr. George, apparently advised the Young Republican club on campus. It was through the club that Mr. George was able to carry on an influential relationship with students, unbeknownst to anyone.
The principal of the Elite Academy School for Elites that are Elite, Mr. Smith, confirmed the existence of the Young Republican Club in a struggle session with the Newsoms and local Alphabet Mafia Capos (members of Antifa, drag queens, and the media) but maintained the club was sanctioned as a Young RINO club. The term ‘Rino’ is an acronym for Republican In Name Only. In between kowtows to the Newsoms and antifa drag queens, Smith sobbed that as a RINO club, students were expected to wear some conservative bling to learn how to “blend in” and thought the students were wearing club uniforms, like football players wearing jerseys on game days.
“It was a popular club.” Smith cried, “I thought kids were enjoying the back-stabbing activities. I had no idea they were reading and discussing declassified transcripts from the 2017 House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence RussiaGate investigations!”
“I never expected that Mr. Smith was grooming our students in such a secretive manner!” Smith sobbed during one prolonged kowtow with his forehead on the floor. “Had I known these highly secretive activities were going on I would have informed the parents immediately!”
Smith was then given a San Francisco Pride punishment, which would best be left undescribed, and fired.
Mr. George has apparently fled California, according to highly placed sources, fearing a quick trial and state execution. California authorities have reached out to a number of “red states” with a BOLO and a description of Mr. George’s crimes but were told to “cry more.”
After a lengthy conversation with California State Senator Scott Weiner, the Newsoms decided it would be best to place Emma in foster care where he “can attend public school, under the supervision of approved LGBTQIA+2XYZ activists and get the conversion therapy he so direly needs.”