By John Parker from A Questionable Response
When someone says, “back in the day” they usually refer to something that took place 20 or 30 years ago. Not anymore! “Back in the day” is now 3 years ago. Our frame of reference has changed to pre-covid, referring to the period when the government locked down the population, closed businesses, closed churches, insisted you wear a mask, made you stand 6 ft away from other human beings and forced you to watch your grandparents die through a glass window and the “new normal” we call today.
They want you to think everything is back to normal but you know better. Sure you can get on a plane and travel out of town but it’s not quite the same is it? Your flight might take off on time or maybe it will be canceled altogether. You were a good boy or girl and bought an electric car but you’re not sure if you drive any distance there will be a charging station. And what if I have to replace the batteries, how much does that cost? There’s a new term for that, “charging anxiety”. You would like to go to the movies with the family but you’re not sure if Micky’s going to make out with Goofy or if Snow White is a boy or girl. It’s all so confusing!
You used to trust your doctor but now you realize many of the drugs he prescribed aren’t “curing” you and he insists you take them forever. You only got one jab? Not enough even though it doesn’t stop transmission and you’re still getting “covid” or whatever it is that keeps you bedridden. Keep the mask handy, you might need it when the next one hits!
Need to go to the emergency room? Good luck with that, and why are the waiting rooms full of people speaking different languages? Why don’t they ever talk to me about building my immune system, getting exercise and sunshine? Take another pill and another shot? What are all those conditions they advertise on TV and where did they come from? Why do the side effects for the new drugs I can’t pronounce sound like all the other scary side effects? Don’t they test these drugs for safety? I’ve heard “safe and effective” before. How did that work out?
I’m so depressed I think I’ll go to the store and buy some comfort food. I know I haven’t lost the 20-30 pounds I put on while sitting on my couch, getting high, watching Netflix. And why can’t I share my password anymore? Why is everything I want to buy 20-50% more and why are there empty shelves, this is friggin America! I can put my groceries on my credit card but I’m almost over my limit and for some reason the interest rate went up and I can’t seem to pay it down! 10 cents for a bag that has more plastic than the ones that were banned that were free.
I’ll get some gas on the way home, wait a minute. Why is gas twice as much as it was a few years ago? Oh, I forgot it’s Putin and those evil Russians. And while we’re at it, why is my electric bill more than double what it was a couple of years ago? Climate change, I forgot. But now I have an electric car! Rolling brownouts and black outs I thought solar panels and windmills would solve our energy needs.
I hear we won’t need to worry about any of this because AI will replace most of the jobs and I’ll get a guaranteed income. Even though my coding job will go away because the machines will be able to write their own code I’ll be fine. Money will be put into my account digitally and I can withdraw it by waving my hand over a scanner. I hope they don’t limit what I can buy or where I can go. And what if the electricity goes out, do I still have “money”? It’s all so confusing but I guess it’s just nature and if I devote myself to this new religion and do everything right the climate will change. If I vote the right way I’ll have peace and security. What me worry? I’m MAD! Stay tuned for Pt.3